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Personal responsibility in relationships

Shannon Buckley

What if we had communities consisting of many individuals who had developed advanced understanding of what we are able to control vs. the contrary?  In my vision, this community would clearly be more resilient, independent and focused. Once we awaken to fulfilling our purpose, we begin to look at our lives differently and likely, our time becomes more precious.  Through self-awareness, we can explore the idea of living a life with purpose. To me, this is where we break out of the mold of consumerism, blind cooperation, thinking for ourselves and considering what evidence exists of a higher power.  I surrendered my life to a higher power in 2008 and at a this point, I see no other option, besides the fact that I’d been provided with plenty of evidence that this force is real and has validated my heart's desires again and again.

My journey has lately been about seeking more freedom from my own thoughts and perceived limitations.  Part of the disorder of anxiety is thinking ahead to the future and assuming all of the many scenarios if you do the thing you are imagining doing. I just keep working to break this pattern through intention movement and here is the container I have created to feel safe in doing this:  In every interaction we have, there are always at least two sides to the story. If I can just have the courage to share my experience lovingly, with out expectation, taking the journey one moment at a time, while breathing through it… The other person sharing the experience we are creating with one another can then have an opportunity to discuss their side of our co-creation.  When I was younger, I didn’t realize the power I had in my relationships and I was often dissatisfied by the lack of mutual interest. I realized in order to create relationships that are a genuine reflection of myself and my values, I had to learn how to take a much more active approach. This has really required me to speak up, participate, speak honestly and find a new way of viewing this dance of relationship to give me peace of mind.  

In our mindfulness practice, we are always reminded to focus on the present moment, and part of self-awareness is being in touch with our emotions in hopes that we understand how we are feeling and can adjust accordingly.  Then, into this ties personal responsibility of bringing forth our experience into an open arena so the people who love us and care about us are able to also receive the investment of the relationship of which both parties are sharing. This requires the all allusive term“communication” and it is my hope that by sharing this, it helps to add a puzzle piece of what that large term actually encompasses.  Personally, as I grow and identify the relationships that I really do want to work on, I have realized why people say that relationships take work and I’ve seen how having just a few close friends is better than a bunch of acquaintances because it really does take effort to stay present and clear with others on an ongoing basis.


We are always getting to know ourselves in new ways, the way I weave these different understandings between one another and connect the dots through various areas of life.  We are fluid, evolving, infinite, connected beings who thrive on connection, not separation. We are meant to operate as whole beings and my mission is to do this and by sharing my experiences and teachings.. Others can be inspired to experience wholeness and peace.

 

Shannon Buckley facepainter

Photo by Ivonne Maria photography 

 


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